The King Midas in Reverse Gazette

Editor-In-Good Grief: Adam “Why swing when you can walk” Mead

It’s Alright Ma, I’m Only Bleeding

There are times in life when you walk into a room and are greeted by some sense of foreshadowing; a cold chill; sight of a misplaced book. Team Enneads season has had no need for such drama, and has been void of subtly on any level. Our last game came into view quietly, as we walked onto Great Lawn field #3. The weather was filled with wonder, do we really need another spin off of GLEE? There were hundreds in the outfield, unwilling to move, their head’s covered by hands, the sun to shield. Gensler in years past would have cause us to shake with some fear, but with our record, lost in the headlights more like a deer. We put our ragtag team to the test, we swung the bats, ran the bases, yes, we even took a rest. In the outfield is where we like to shine, there the ball lay, right in front of Nikita’s feet, “Hey is this mine?” Off in the distance I could hear a saxophone play, but it was slow, and a bit out of key, I’d say. Gensler began to accrue the runs, the sun was setting, we was dead, was this really close to being done? “That’s Game”, the ump did yell, My ears hurt, it was only the 4^th inning, but the shock rang like a bell. Over the hills, and through the woods, a slaughter rule did ride. 11-0, it all seemed right, as we left the field a small child sat, being held tight by his trusted black lab. Ten feet further and a dog ran in circles, trying to find a hole, hey wait, was he being led by Studs Terkel? When 120 paces had been laid down, we finally walked across that threshold, wearing out our weary crown. We ordered up our usual supply of beers and wings, The jukebox sung “Band on The Run”. And so another season comes to a close. Time to put away the cleats and dirty ennead softball clothes. Thanks to everyone who came out to play, it’s a season, well, the one that got away.

Season record 0-11-1

Until next year…well on that note.

Editors Note: I think it is time to lay my pencil down, to take a break, and hand over the reins, of this well oiled softball write up. I have mined the depths of literary injustice, and think fresh eyes would do well should they fall on a blank page, coming up with stories of wonder and surprise. Thanks to everyone who has paused in their days to read my tales, and offered opinions, ideas, solutions, and stories of softball demise. It has been fun. I wish the next lucky soul Good luck!

Good night& Good night

Adam

Ennead's Last Gasp

The “This is how it ends?” Express

Editor-In-Good Grief: Adam “Where’s my TV Dinner?” Mead

“Ennead Shows Heart, Now that’s A Start…Next Year Already?”

“Deferred gratification and delayed gratification denote a person’s ability to wait in order to obtain something that he or she wants. This intellectual attribute is also called impulse control, will power, self control, and “low” time preference, in economics. Sociologically, good impulse control is considered a positive personality trait, which psychologist Daniel Goleman indicated as an important component trait of emotional intelligence. “

Team Ennead took their week-end yearning weary bodies, and dragged themselves into a Friday night fight. The Sun cutting through the kicked up dust, this was surely going to help us knock off the rust. Perkins Eastman was our willing opponent, now our team needed some help, some missing component. Now if I had to surmise I wouldn’t have guessed it was the sun in our eyes, but rather a “lose” hiding out beyond the trees in some well suited disguise. PEA took quickly to making us squirm, they ran around the bases like some human worm. But regardless of our verbal jabs, and the fact one on our teammates had 6 back abs, five runs they scored, “Serentity NOW!”, I implored. It took some time, but with two outs in the 5^th, the planets did align, team ennead let out a last gasp, 5 runs around the bases, holding our breath that we would not trip over our untied laces. The game was tied, could it be, the softball gods could be bribed? Now as in life, all things aren’t always fare, you see, we have had 7 loses, almost too much to bear. But, today Lucy, looked us square in the eye, and pulled that ball quickly away, all 9 of us, feet flying high, right into the blue sky. PEA would not go away, and with their mischievous tactics, running the bases like playing gymnastics. Another run on their side of the scorecard, it was too much too handle, where in the damned remote control so I can fast forward? Team Ennead showed heart, maybe only enough fight for 1 inning, but that’s a start. We fell to our feet 0-8-1. Two more games left in the season, there’s nothing left to say, and surely not any reason. So don’t hold your breath, but after this season, I am moving to Vegas to sing Kiss’ song “Beth”. Tuesday and Thursday are all that remain, but remember, as always, it’s only a game!

Shout out to Anthony for helping us out in the field, and his little daughter for yelling “OUT” before he batted, as well as Mr. Geisinger, our lone fan. We’ll take what we can get!

THE PLAYOFF PICTURE COMES TO FOCUS . . . A LITTLE BIT

With the results from Monday night, the 2011 playoff picture in the SLAM League has become a little more clear: there are 7 teams for 6 spots.

I preface the below information with the fact that this is ALL “unofficial” projections by the commissioner (the numbers were crunched in my head several times and not on paper); but depending upon the results of a few key games, the landscape for the 2011 playoffs could look very different than recent history:

• HMA/RAMSA, PCF/HH and MGA have all clinched playoff spots
• SS must win one of its next two games to guarantee a spot
• FxF (already with a SLAM-record 5 rainouts to date) improbably still have 4 games to play in the next 2+ weeks, needing to win 2 of its remaining 4 games to lock up a spot

And here’s where it gets very interesting:

• Gensler controls its own destiny: Win the next two games (PCF/HH and EA) and they are in the playoffs. But if Gensler should split their next two games, and RRA/DBB wins its final game (and again, this is assuming SS doesn’t lose their final two games), then RRA/DBB would take the 6th spot because of the H2H matchup way back in April.

At the top of the standings, the seeds are just as interesting:

• PCF/HH and HMA/RAMSA each control their own destiny, making the August 8th matchup on the Great Lawn all the more important. If either team wins its remaining games, that team secures the #1 seed and a first round bye in the playoffs. Conversely, the loser could be headed for the #3 seed and no first round bye in the playoffs.
• Oddly enough, FxF, which has yet to guarantee a playoff spot could actually also lock up the #1 seed with a little help from some other teams in the league (FxF would need to win outright, GA defeats PCF/HH and PCF/HH defeats HMA/RAMSA). Got that?

In short, with two weeks to go in the regular season absolutely NOTHING is settled. And all this just as a precursor to what should be a very exciting 2011 SLAM playoffs.



STAY TUNED....