Ennead Loses in 2 parts

The Ennead Gazette

Editor in Disbelief: Adam “can’t catch’em” Mead

Special Double Issue, Mid Morning Edition

Something’s come in pairs, this kind ain’t something you can wear.

Tuesday May 10 6:00 Eastern Standard Time; 42° 50' N; 73° 60' W

Several dozen high school boys cover what is to be our softball field. Tempers flare as we “pull” our permits and tell them to scram. The adolescent rage was palpable. This was high stakes architecture league softball. We need our field! Team Ennead took the field again KPF, the titans if midtown. What followed will be talked about in the back alleys of the west village for dog years. We jumped out to an early lead, only to be reined back into a tie. This would play out over 7 innings. Natasha was playing for two, at 2^nd base. She made some magnificent plays that kept us close, still in the race. But as 7 O’clock the hour hand neared, the game was called, ending in a tie, everything we had feared. We had flown too close the sun of a win, and found are true level. Sitting side saddle at the bar, we ordered our usual. Hey look over there, it’s a bronze bust of Stan Musial. Final Score 8-8. Raising our record to a sour 0-3-1

Monday May 22 5:30 Eastern Standard Time; 40° 47' N; 73° 58' W

The Smoke had just begun to clear from the post rapture, humility hung heavy in the air. Clouds colored 40% grey forming a flat non committal evening day. The Phillips Group (TPG) came in their brand new blue jersey’s, brandishing attitude something close to verisimilitude. We shook off the attempt at intimidation, if the rapture would not happen, maybe there was hope for reincarnation. We would take to our bats first, and flex some muscle, and if need be take the field to the tune of “do the hustle.” TPG came out swinging, 5 runs, 4 horsemen of the apocalypse they was bringin’. Team Ennead has learned about as much as you can in 3 loses and a tie, and as the runs amassed against us we waved the chance at a win goodbye. 5 more runs across the bases did come. Constance swung her bat, and Matt did run, if not all of us, then they would at least get 1 run. The games end came quickly, called after 4 innings, 14-1, in defeat rather sickly. But as is our way, we raised our heads high, necks angled towards the sky, and as the muscles tighten, it was our wallets that were lightened, as we washed away defeat, with bud light, and chicken wings minus the feet. Team Ennead stumbling into it’s by week at 0-4-1. Looking for some help from Oprah, and one of those teachable moments.

TPG Wins under the Power of 9

As the city saw it's ninth straight day with some level of rain, teams were not optimistic that yesterday's games would be played.  The commissioner was stressed.  Weather.com's local radar map was open on tabs across the city.  A 6 minute downpour on 34th Street and 10th ave led to a single one word ("oops") email by the league office that all but gave up hope for SLAM action on Monday, May 23rd.

But then there was the power of 9.  As has been well documented on this blog, Ennead Architects (EA) was named after 9 dieties coming together as one.  Perhaps those dieties fended off the rain and were the reason softball was played on this day.  The 5:30pm match up on the Great Lawn pitted EA against TPG Architecture (TPG), and something in the air (humidity, fog, deadlines in the office) was causing players to drop like flies.  Last minute cancellations and late in-house meetings led to a starting lineup of 9 vs. 9 as both teams took the field. 

The power of 9 was with TPG last night as they scored 5, 5, and 4 runs in the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd innings to take a commanding 14-1 lead going into the top of the 4th inning.  After three more EA outs, the game was over, final score 14-1, mercy by the power of 9.

Even David Solomon - our esteemed commissioner - came out to take in this game.  And his awesome videography skills (spygate anyone?) led to the above rare footage of an RBI single by TPG Manager Josh Ginsburg.

Game balls for this win go to everyone who showed up at the field on a day when it seemed nobody would (Thank you Derrick Blocker, Princess Salvacion, Adam Woods, Alison Hopke, Tony Franzese, Ray Dominguez, Justin Aharoni, David Beauchamp, Josh Ginsburg, and a late arrival by Omar Bustamante).

PCF/HH tosses GSA another loss....

....with the high arc hand of this man.

Say it Aint So....

Is this true, that SLAM is considering putting together an ALL STAR team to
play against the Men in Blue ? Well if this is only a rumor, then fine.

However, if the SLAM 'ALL STARTS' ever do want to place a legitimate challenge ( ha ) & bring back the Classic game back, please do let me know. All Female players interested in playing w/ the Men in Blue, need to submit there application directly to me.

I have a few phone calls to make. And please do remember that this Classic game is Umpired by
the SLAM players........AT NO CHARGE....: )

KING BLUE

BREAKING NEWS - Multiple Division Format

ABBOTTABAD, PAKISTAN....

During a secret meeting of the S.L.A.M. Intelligence Agency (SIA), Commissioner David Solomon proposed a radical new structure for the future of our softball league.  The attendees of this meeting have not been identified, but sources confirm that S.L.A.M. is considering a new multiple division format for 2012 and beyond.  The growing discrepancy in skills among teams in our league has prompted SIA leadership to suggest a dramatic overhaul in the regular season schedule and playoff format.

When asked for comment, HM/RAMSA Manager David Solomon told our source "It's just not fun anymore.  We have won all three of our games by at least 11 runs, so why even bother playing?  With our upcoming match against lightweight Gensler, there just does not seem to be an end in sight."

Coming off their brutal 16-4 loss againt RAMSA, TPG Manager Josh Ginsburg added "We had no chance against them.  With the way they are playing, I don't think anyone can beat them".

The new proposed divisional structure would allow the best teams to play among themselves while the rest of the league has a full season worth of fun, competitive games.  Our source viewed a copy of the confidential memo distributed during the SIA meeting titled "Divisional Structure, what it means to you!".  The details are as follows:

DIVISION A
Holzman Moss / Robert A.M. Stern Architects (HM/RAMSA)

DIVISION B
Ennead Architects (EA)
FXFowle Architects (FXF)
Gensler Associates (GA)
Gruzen Samton (GSA)
Kohn Pedersen Fox Architects (KPF)
Mitchell Giurgola Architects (MGA)
Pei Cobb Freed / Hart Howerton (PCF/HH)
Perkins Eastman (PEA)
Ronnette Riley / Davis Brody Bond (RRA/DBB)
SOM / SHCA (SS)
TPG Architecture (TPG)

Each team would play 10 regular season games followed by a playoff bracket, but only against other teams in their division.  At the end of the season, two trophies would be awarded - one to the winner of Division A, and the other to the winner of Division B.

When asked for a final comment, David Solomon told our source "Now that's a system that makes sense.  We (HM/RAMSA) are the only ones who can beat ourselves, so playing 10 games against ourselves is the best way to insure a season of fun and competitive games.  This is a win-win situation, we get our trophy at the end of the year, and all of the other teams still have a chance to get one themselves".

THE MOUTH IS SILENCED! (FOR NOW)

Following a swirling controversy as to the authenticity of the previous day’s Twitter posts, a newly outfitted TPG team took to the field on beautiful May 9th evening and tried to let their play do the talking against the defending league champs. In the end however, their mouths—much like their bats—were silenced by a suffocating defense and an offense that is clicking on all cylinders.

To his credit, the eye of this Blue Storm controversy – Derrick “The Mouth” Blocker – came out firing in the first inning, literally, as he struck out 2 of the first 3 batters to start the game. TPG mounted a threat in the bottom of the inning getting two runners on but failed to break through against HMA/RAMSA. Both pitchers settled in nicely until the top of the fourth inning as the Orange bats came out swinging and built upon their slim 1-0 lead.

Following two hits from the top of the order to start the fourth inning , cleanup hitter Brian Barney (2-4, 5 RBI) drove them both home with a rope up the middle, nearly decapitating The Mouth (seen below). The inning continued as HMA/RAMSA batted around and took a commanding 7-0 lead. The fireworks continued in the fifth inning as 4 more runs crossed the plate, the final 3 of which came off the bat of comeback player of the year candidate, Josh Aisenberg (3-4, 5 RBI) who hit a rocket shot to right field for a three-run HR.

The scoreless streak for opponents reached 12 consecutive innings, spanning 2.5 games to start the season, but finally TPG broke through in the bottom of the 5th inning with four runs of their own to avoid a mercied defeat. The game would end 2 innings later as HMA/RAMSA took home the victory by a final score of 16-4. Much to this writer's surprised Derrick Blocker would not return calls when asked about the outcome of this game. Conversely, when asked about his team’s play that afternoon Mike “The Situation” (3-4, 1 RBI, 4 runs) humbly offered up “Not for nuthin’, but we had a situation going on earlier today. It’s hard for me to look this good and play this good at the same time—but I pull it off, dawg. Now if you excuse me, I see a cutie who’s DTF…..”

Next up (weather permitting, of course): The Big Red Machine....Game on!

Wild 48-47 softball score sets national record for runs in a game

A must read for all of SLAM League to remind your team never to quit--even if you're down 13 runs in the bottom of the 7th inning:

CLICK HERE FOR THE ARTICLE

Some crazy stats from the game that ended 48-47 in only seven innings:

• The winning pitcher gave up all 47 runs but allowed only 21 hits
• The losing team used several pitchers who gave up 48 runs yet allowed only 10 hits (that's 95 combined runs on only 31 hits!); the losing team did walk 36 batters and hit 12 more
• One poor batter came to the plate 9 times....and walked all nine times
• The winning team scored 13 runs in their last at bat to win the game
• The game ended on a bases loaded walk. Brutal.
• Oh, and the game last 4 hours (winning team only had 9 players!)

My arm is tired just thinking about this game--those poor pitchers!

History and Spring elevator battles of Epic proportions

Spring is in full swing and we haven’t had the chance to catch up with the S.L.A.M blog. So, in order to do so we will cover a battle of epic, deity proportions and a historic win. Let us start with the epic one:

It is undoubtedly good when victory happens 2 years in a row against the same team, and it is especially good (in epic, Egyptian mythology proportions) when our opponent’s new name signifies the presence of 9 deities. That would be the newly Christened “Ennead Architects”, our downstairs neighbor. One would think that Gruzen Samton would succumb to the wrath of the so-called Gods, right? Well no, the story went more along the Greek-pop mythology of Perseus in Clash of the Titans: The deities succumbed to the power of their opponent. It was a close, well-fought battle that ended up in a 10-9 Gruzen Samton victory over Ennead.

However, the best part was that coveted “elevator bragging rights” title. The following day, those rights were fully embraced (yet again) by adding some life to the elevator of our building in the form of celebratory street art; the type that would make Banksy recoil with envy.

We wish Ennead good luck for the rest of their season and look forward to future matches in this now classic rivalry that can only be compared to that of the NY Yankees against the Boston Red Sox (only really, really small in comparison).

And now, on to the historic one:

After our victory last night against Gensler I later found out at the bar that Gruzen had never beaten Gensler before; and to that historic effect many names should be highlighted through the game coverage:

- Starting with 2 runs in the first inning we intended to get an early advantage over our opponents.
- On the second inning, our secret British weapon; Simon Smith, crushes a ball deep in between left and center field for a home-run with 2 RBI.
- The offensive attack continued in the 3rd inning with the help of Vickie Vigil taking a walk to load the bases. Then, our newcomer Diane Moseley (at her second time batting ever!) grounds a ball for a 1 RBI, followed by Jeff Gillers for a single with 1 RBI.

All in all it was a good battle, with Gensler having a comeback of 4 runs in the last 2 innings backed up by one of the better pitchers of the league. However, the defensive game of Gruzen Samton was in full swing with great plays by Jeff DeLong in 1st base (with great backwards fly-ball catches and on double duty at home plate for a nail-biting out); Joe Illuzzi with several clean plays as well as good plays by Vickie and Anthony Colella on 2nd and Shortstop respectively. Adding to that, several struck-outs by our pitcher Jeff Gillers and a good outfield defensive game (by Robert Lucas, Ed Bolivar, illich Mujica and the secret British weapon) ensured that one of the better teams fell short of a victory. In the end Gruzen Samton won 6-5 over Gensler.

It is Spring, and our 9th button of the elevator trumps any group of 9 deities.  
It is good to press that button. Everyday.

TPG TALKS A BIG GAME

Professional athletes talking smack via Twitter has become common place in the sports world--but architects in the SLAM league? This could be a first....

While the rest of the world was enjoying a quiet Mother's Day with family, things in the SLAM League just got a bit more interesting as one mouthy pitcher called out another on Twitter on Sunday, May 8th. On the eve of their matchup on the Great Lawn, TPG pitcher Derrick "The Mouth" Blocker tweeted "NO F*&KING WAY we lose to those paper chumps on Monday. (They) ain't that good." He continued as far as to guarantee victory on Monday evening against the defending league champs who happen to be 20-1 in their last 21 regular season contests.

When asked to comment about his pitcher's audacity, team c0-manager Josh Ginsburg backed his pitcher: "Derrick talks a big game but he'll back it up. To me, he's the best damn pitcher in SLAM -- no question. HMA/RAMSA was lucky they didn't have to face us in the Finals a year ago."

The team's other co-manager, Princess Salvacion, didn't shy away from controversy herself: "What's up with that fake Mike "The Situation" dude? He needs to get a life. He thinks he's the best hitter in the league but we have girls on our team who hit the ball farther."

Needless to say, there are some scores to settle on Monday evening.

Beware of the Blue Storm



Princess when you get her mad



Ennead Shows Some Spirit. @ loses in the key of G

Ennead Epoch News

Special Double Issue

Mid Morning Edition

Editor in Thief: Adam “Can’t hit em & catch em” Mead

A double Summary before it gets too summery.

The strident Enneadians have taken to the great lawn field twice now this season, with new recruits en tow. Shaking off the dust from an off season, taking an oil can to the rust. One week ago yesterday, SOM did come to play. They brought their league leading best, to put our deity named team to the test. But we would not leave so quickly. After rounding the bases, in warm ups, I felt rather sickly. SOM took the lead early, but we fought back, “we would not rest!” I yelled from the back stop, like some sailor, rather surly. I was told the score is all that matters, it was too much to take for our brave batters. We left the field having fought well, but falling short in score, we thru pennies in the well. Wishing for success from afar, it was only a few blocks before we would win at the bar. (4-3 final losing score, with multiple winnings at the bar)

Last night the fog hung low over the great lawn; The city hidden in white. We walked onto the field wanting to make our opponent yield. They were our upstairs neighbors, “hey look over there, is that Jim Neighbors?” Gruzen came prepared, but we were up first, and we thru 4 runs at them quickly. Our spirits began to rise, there was a break in the fog. We would be the princess to their frog. But I must have lost the moral of the story, they began to come back and abscond with all of our glory. Down by 4, we fought hard, but it was a bit much, maybe too much a chore. We fell short by one run, welcoming another “braggin rights” beating. As our opponent cheered, I looked through my glasses, the fog had smeared. Covered in dirt, I turned to our team, there would come another day, a win?, dare we dream?

Team Ennead 0-2, so far, but looking to shake things up and go on a winning streak.

WHERE'S THE OFFENSE ???

The season is still very young--10 games old to be exact--but one thing appears very apparent: the defense and pitching is way ahead of the hitting. And the numbers don’t lie.

Just as the number of homeruns are down in Major League Baseball, the new steriod and HGH testing that was implemented in the SLAM League in 2011 appears to have slowed down the vaunted bats of the league. In the 2008 season, there were an average of 17.0 runs per game through the first 10 contests; in 2009 that number dipped slightly to 16.4 rpg through 10 games; and in 2010 the number jumped up slightly to 16.7 rpg through the first 10 games. But this season with new drug testing now firmly in place there have only been a startling 13.6 runs per game. Even more telling, there have been 3 shutouts already this season which equals the number of shutouts in the first 10 games in 2008, 2009 and 2010 combined.

Now some might argue--and I won't disagree--that some maybe the pitching and defense has something to do with this odd trend. And yes, perhaps they are much better in 2011. But still, while defense wins championships, offense sells tickets; and everyone in Central Park is wondering if this unusual trend will continue in a softball league. (Admittedly not likely, but this pitcher sure hopes so!).

So WAKE UP BATS, wherever you are!....or better yet, don’t — see if I care.