The Daily Howler

Editor-In-Base-Relief: Adam “Where’s Sancho Panza” Mead

Ennead goes “All-In”, with everything and the Kitchen Sink!

We entered Central Park with an overflowing team, players for the ages, oh wait, I mean aged. We were taking on FxFowle, there we paparazzi all around, looking for pictures, letting out growls. We took the field and started off strong, bases loaded no one out, something was wrong with this picture, it had to be wrong. We were light on our feet, filled with delight. We scored no runs, but this was looking like more fun. The next inning, that fowled bunch came a swinging, and before you knew it we weren’t winning. But, we fought back with a new found spirit, we tied the game 4-4, we were maybe possibly going to do it, I could just feel it. But as I caught my reflection it was Don Quixote, I was playing. Chasing the “WIN” in windmill again, bat in hand, grasping at straws, maybe, but were fighting, that’s all I am saying. The wheels they did begin to creep, as FxF put up 3, then 4 runs, it was beginning to show, this was getting close to done. But like the man from La Mancha, reality never got in the way of our pursuit, we would re-write this story, right down to the root. Now, in the end we did not lose, it was our first complete game, another way to alleviate those central park blues. At 0-6 some might conclude, the season lost, but as I would write it,  merely an interlude. So stay tuned, ear close to the ground, for the that faint whisper and smile might just be a win to be found.

Until next game, Adios, Visa Vi, Ergo, Ibid, and Adieu!

The Daily “Oh Good Grief Charlie Brown” Gazette

Ennead learns the Game

Editor in Disbelief: Adam “LUCY!!!” Mead

Ennead shows up to the sun baked fields of Central Park’s Hecksher, filled with a wild eyed optimism, or maybe that was fear of the face eating maniac recently mentioned in the news, for we were clad in our fresh partner face clad tee’s. Our wily opponent stood across the diamond, with a grimace only a mother could love. As game time approached, we looked around for players to poach, you see, we only had 6 players. Our t-shirts showing only 6 partners, we should have brought them all, even if in layers. I looked around in dismay, there was not much to do or say, even I could not stop the end of may. Before the game even started, our spirits were thwarted, a new way to lose, our foreheads branded, 5 time losers, no runner left stranded. A forfeit you see, came so quickly towards me, there was no reason for glee, other that the future cold beer. We did manage a scrimmage, that left us with some sense of good will, and looking forward to anything, even staring out into the distance at those singing bird’s plumage. We’ve learned the game in spades, and that loses can appear en masse as some sort of cavalcade.

0-5 our team now stands, looking to turn it around; just make a small sound, to hold onto our good sense Humor, and as Arnold once said ..”It’s not a tumor!”

Thanks to all that showed. We continue to soldier on….Next Game Monday @ 7:00 vs. PCF

TPG Ties HMB/RAMSA in a 6-6 Pitcher's Duel

Them (HMB/RAMSA):  Two-time defending champions, 40-4-2 regular season record over the past five years, new team jersey with championship banners embroidered on their sleeves.

Us (TPG):  Just trying to make the playoffs every year (and only succeeding about 50% of the time), 25-21 regular season record over that same 5 year time frame, angry that RAMSA's new team jersey was unveiled before our eyes.

Basically, Rocky 1.  The only people who gave us a shot, were ourselves.  But we had fight.  We had spirit.  And we were ready for battle.

It is not every day that a 6-6 game can be called a pitcher's duel.  But with exactly 1 earned run between the two teams over 8 full innings of play, that is precisely what RAMSA Pitcher David "I lost track of how many pitcher-of-the-year awards i have won" Solomon and TPG Pitcher Derrek "The Mouth" Blocker gave us.

The game started out bleak for TPG, as RAMSA scored 3 in the the first (1 earned) on sloppy play by the defense.  Unable to muster any offense against their "I don't have enough room on my mantle for all my pitching trophies" pitcher, TPG was scoreless after 3 innings.  RAMSA tacked on 3 more in the bottom of the 3rd on yet more errors and defensive miscues.  It would have been easy to give up having just staked the defending champions to a 6-0 lead.  But give up was not a word in our vocabulary...

In the top of the 5th TPG rallied.  2B Louis "Baseball is in my DNA" Herrera and RF Josh "Shufflefoot" Ginsburg started us off with back-to-back singles, and ended up scoring a on a series of errors by the usually stellar RAMSA defense. We had hope, and now trailed only 6-2.

Time to unleash the secret and not-so-secret weapons.  Princess "It is impossible for a pitcher to throw me a strike" Salvacion led off the 6th with a walk, followed by back-to-back errors bringing up the early season front-runner for team MVP SS Tommy "Guns" Anderson with bases loaded down four runs.  Tommy would not disappoint as he crushed a line drive over everyone's head for a game tying grand slam.

 
After the game, David Solomon commented that this was the first time in his entire SLAM career that he gave up a 6-run lead.  Our heart cries for you David, really.  That sound you hear?  The smallest violin in the world playing in sympathy just for you.

Our team photographer, Vu Tran was in attendence again, and you can see the rest of his photos from the game here:  https://plus.google.com/photos/109111179680946945239/albums/5742398289459189905?authkey=CKum17rfo-TIUQ

Game balls go to Derek Blocker for only giving up 1 earned run over 8 innings, Josh Ginsburg for another 3-3 day, and of course to Tommy Anderson for the hit of the season, a game tying grand slam - his 3rd HR this season in as many games.

END OF AN ERA....

The SLAM flags are flying at half mast on a gloomy Tuesday as we mourn the loss of a bar that is very near and dear to all of our hearts.   It is with great sorrow that I report to you that Brother Jimmy's Baitshack located on the corner of Third Avenue and 92nd Street is with us no longer.

 

Photo taken by Gensler outfielder, Jordan Scalere

The Baitshack had long since been the location for the SLAM Awards Party held annually each Winter since 1997.  When asked to comment on the startling news, co-commissioner Doug Neri could only say "Sucks, man.  When I moved to the city from a small town in Texas, I had never even heard of a frickle (a fried pickle for those unaware) until I went to Brother Jimmy's.  Damn I'm gonna miss those rib tips too."

No word yet on the site of the 2012 SLAMMIES, but the commissioner's office is exploring all options (and open to any suggestions)...

The Lilliputian’s Daily Telegraph

It takes a lot to Laugh, It takes a Train to Cry.

Editor-In Good Grief: Adam “Narcoleptic in the Field” Mead

Ennead showed up to the chilled fields of Central Park with 8 players to wield. We were hoping for greatness, to run the bases in weightlessness. But our little Lilliputian arms and legs were no match for The Phillips Group. To them we must’ve seemed like nervous ants, running around with us in our pants. A ball would fall over there, then over here, even Old MacDonald couldn’t’

make a rhyme out of us. We were truly something to behold, ,our ropes launched into the air, holding tightly to keep our nemesis from moving through the air. But, they turned our diamond around,  Adam Sheraden did his level best on that there pitcher’s mound. “1, 2, 3 strikes you’re out,” is a term we know too well, I can’t believe how many pennies, and wishes I left down that well. Now if you use that new math the kids like today, I hazard to say, we might win one of these games someday. Move a decimal here, a digit there, hey before you know it, we’re paying this game with talent to share. Now in just 2 games we’ve made our 2 opponents to quite able. If we continue on this path I foresee a future for me cleaning out a Horse Stable. As the 4^th inning came into focus, it was hard to avoid, another slaughter rule, someone please release the swarm of locusts. 11-0 in the end was the score, I know another lose, I am beginning to bore. In a week’s time from today we’ll be heading out again to try and show just what we’ve got, and put it on display. Season Standing 0-2

Epilogue:

As I sat in my apartment home, chatting away, my two cats a purring, pure contentment shown, I heard my phone a buzzing. It was an email from our friend SLAM League commissioner. I wonder, in summer is he much of a fisher? Now the e-mail seemed to paint him as a rather dispirited lad. But they usually win, I’d have thought he’d been rather glad. But, as you see I forgot to pay the UMP Fee, and in this email he framed me as rather a chump. Now at first I took great offense, but that quickly turned to solace. I am sure there was just a mistake and intended no malice. Now as my bald headed dome did descend into sleep, my imagination ran away with me and offered, an image, a treat. The commissioner, at work at Robert A.M. Stern, arguing over what was proper, “what is it to be, a Corinthian column, or something more solemn?”

Editors Note: No Lilliputians were harmed in the assemblage of these words.

BACK TO BUSINESS

After a somewhat controversial winter away that included an extensive doping allegation (no charges filed), a visit to the White House and very light off-season workout program, the HMBA/RAMSA Orange Crush returned to their office in Central Park to kick off the 2012 campaign.  The one-time "bridesmaids" of SLAM have become (to some) the Bridezillas of the league.  Make no mistake about it, in 2012 this team has a bullseye squarely aimed at its back.

 Facing a much improved and highly motivated Perkins Eastman team to open its second defense of the trophy, the SLAM champions were flat and rusty.  PEA came right out of the box with a run in the first inning (and threatened for much more).  On the flipside, it took four innings of softball for the HMBA/RAMSA squad to scratch out its first hit of the young season.  And four batters later, with two outs and two runners on base, cleaner hitter Brian Barney roped a single to center to give the us a 2-1 lead.    Two innings later with a little more hustle than muscle (and the help of a throwing error), an important tack-on run was added  as they closed out the game 3-1, Good Guys.

Two weeks later - and sporting the debut of brand-spanking new uniforms since 2006 - a rejuvenated team complete with a new crop of rookie talent returned to the Great Lawn against MGA.  Unlike the first game of the season, this version of the players somewhat resembled the championship formula of seasons' past--timely hitting, solid defense across the field and just enough pitching from their aging captain (who nearly paid a visit to Dr. James Andrews in Birmingham, Alabama this winter).   Most notably the offense came out firing in this game with 4 runs in the top of the first inning.  In fact, the offense scored runs in each of the five innngs of play.  Highlights from the game include the newly crowned quadragenarian, Eric Hofmann's 3-3 evening with 3 runs scored and 1 RBI, Addie Suchorab's 2-2 (1 RBI) performance and Josh Barkan's 2-2, 2 RBI performance which included his first career home run in SLAM ("No joke, that's the first home run I've ever hit - at any level!" he proclaimed in post-game comments).  Final score, Good Guys 12, MGA 1.

Next up on the schedule is the Mayan-endorsed, undefeated (and over-photographed) Blue Storm of TPG - the #1 ranked team in SLAM sporting a formidable 23-1 run ratio in the early part of the season.  Better get your cameras ready, boys and girls....

TPG Beats Ennead 11-0

Team TPG took the field yesterday against Ennead.  When Polshelk Parnership changed their name to Ennead, the meaning had something to do with the "power of 9".  Unfortunately for Ennead, last night they only showed up with a "power of 8" - as in 8 players to take the field.  TPG led off the game, and our first nine batters scored before we even had an out.  Two innings later, a 2-run HR by SS Tommy "Guns" Anderson, and that was all the  scoring we needed, as TPG won via the mercy rule 11-0 after 4 innings of play.

We were lucky enough to have TPG's official team photographer Vu Tran tag along, so we took the educational opportunity to illustrate what to do, and what not to do on the softball field.  For example, here's a breakdown of the correct batting stance vs. the incorrect batting stance:

Tommy "Guns" Anderson demonstrating the correct way to swing a bat

Simon "Muscle Ninja" Yeung showing us the, uh, not so correct way to swing a bat

We also learned that jumping in the air while swinging was not very effective:

Josh "Shufflefoot" Ginsburg teaching us the "jump-swing" technique

And anger can be a powerful tool, the more you grimace, the harder you hit:

Derrick "The Mouth" Blocker

Princess "Peanut" Salvacion

Sara "All Star" Laurence

Tony "Married to the Firm" Franzese

You can see all of the pictures from the game here:  https://plus.google.com/photos/109111179680946945239/albums/5737579785253901553?authkey=CIOVkdzk94qCPQ

Our next game is against 2-time defending champion, HMB/RAMSA.  We look forward to the challenge.

Game balls go to Derrick Blocker for pitching a shut out, Tommy Anderson for another monster HR, and Vu Tran for all the awesome photos.